10 Tips to Overcome the Complexity of Quitting Masturbation and Pornography

15 Tips to Overcome the Complexity of Quitting Masturbation and Pornography - GSalam.Net

Outline

Introduction

Alhamdulillah… Praise and thanks are due to the Almighty Allah, who has promised great rewards for those who strive to safeguard their modesty against all immoral conducts. Complete blessings and salutations are upon the purest and the most modest man of all time, our Messenger and Prophet, Sayyidunā Muḥammad, his household, his companions and all those who follow his guided path, till the end of times.

If you were attracted to this article because you were looking for reasons why you should quit watching pornography, then you may head on to read the 10 Reasons the Muslim Should Quit Watching Pornography. In case you were looking for helpful ways to quit watching pornography, then please read the 10 Ways for the Muslim to Quit Watching Pornography. However, if you are looking to quit masturbation, then you may be glad to read How to Quit the Secret Habit.

If you have read some or all of the above articles and are still struggling in your fight against masturbation and pornography, then this article is for you. It addresses the complexities involved in quitting masturbation and pornography. Therefore, it suggests 10 tips that can help you to overcome such complexities. It aims to set straight and correct the perceptions regarding the addiction of masturbation and pornography. So, feel free to give your inputs and comments in the comments area below. Alternatively, feel free to forward your questions to: salam[at]gsalam.net.

The next two sections will briefly shed light on masturbation and pornography.

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Masturbation

There may be some debates regarding whether or not masturbation is prohibited in Islam. The fact is that scholars have already made thorough discussions that tackle the issue of masturbation.

In a nutshell, it’s important to emphasize, that masturbation becomes an outright sin, when some factors are taken into consideration; and when they (those factors) are practiced during masturbation.

In normal situations, masturbators find the need to release themselves through masturbation when or after they finish watching materials that arouse their urge for sex. These materials may be explicit pornography, and they may be Hollywood or Bollywood movies. They can also be merely an unlawful interaction with the opposite gender.

The other situation when you may end up masturbating is when you engage in thoughts related to sex, watching or viewing sexual scenes and the likes.

Arguers who opine the non-prohibition of the practice of the ‘secret habit’ in Islam support their arguments with the absence of explicit evidence from the Qur’an or the Sunnah that prohibits the act. Thus, they believe that when it’s just your thoughts, which provoke your need to masturbate, then you may release yourself. Especially if you’re 1) unmarried, 2) doing it because, otherwise, you will commit adultery or fornication, and 3) you are not doing that just for the sake of achieving orgasm (for fun).

Either way, it’s obviously sinful, if you have to watch pornographic materials to arouse yourself before masturbating. Not for masturbation in itself–based on the opinion that sees no prohibition for masturbation, with their conditions–but for involving pornographic materials.  It’s however, sinful in itself, whether it was triggered by watching pornographic materials or not, if you are of the opinion that masturbation is harām in itself. Please read How to Quit the Secret Habit for more details.

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Pornography

Whether you agree or you choose to disagree, pornography is harmful. Its harm comes in different dimensions: physical, psychological, social and above all, spiritual. You hardly stay focused in your thoughts, enthusiastic in your physical energy and punctual in your prayers if you are addicted to watching pornography.

Time has changed; when zina can be accessed by a single click of the mouse. Similar or prior to that is the abundant availability of liquor in every corner of the neighbourhoods. But that easy access and abundant availability do not legitimize engaging in zina or consuming liquor.

Similar to the above is the easy access and abundance of pornography, to the extent of it being normalized. This can be easily observed in our attitudes towards it. This is one thing the Muslim must always remember; the fact that something is freely or easily accessible doesn’t mean it’s allowed to be done, touched or committed.

It doesn’t matter how many are those who commit it. It also doesn’t matter how small is the number of those who abstain from it. It matters, however, that we take responsibility towards ourselves. For we shall be brought to account for our deeds. Not for others’ deeds.

يَـٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا عَلَيْكُمْ أَنفُسَكُمْ، لَا يَضُرُّكُم مَّن ضَلَّ إِذَا ٱهْتَدَيْتُمْ، إِلَى ٱللَّـهِ مَرْجِعُكُمْ جَمِيعًا فَيُنَبِّئُكُم بِمَا كُنتُمْ تَعْمَلُونَ

Believers, take care of your own souls. The misguided cannot harm you as long as you are guided. All of you will return to Allah. Then He will make you realize that which you used to do. (Sūrah al-Mā’idah, 5:105).

Sometimes, bad peer pressure can influence in our decision to quit some bad habits. Especially when it seems to us that everyone around us is doing it (the bad/wrong thing). You have to take responsibility, and decide what is good for you and what is not. What is good for you is that which makes your stay in the first part of life a fruitful and renders you productive Muslim and a good vicegerent of Allah. What is good for you also makes your arrival in the second part of life a successful one. It is also that which makes your legacy a very good one.

قُل لَّا يَسْتَوِى ٱلْخَبِيثُ وَٱلطَّيِّبُ وَلَوْ أَعْجَبَكَ كَثْرَةُ ٱلْخَبِيثِ، فَٱتَّقُوا ٱللَّـهَ يَـٰٓأُولِى ٱلْأَلْبَـٰبِ لَعَلَّكُمْ تُفْلِحُونَ

“Say, “The bad and the good are not alike, even though the abundance of the bad may appear pleasing to you. So fear Allah, O men of understanding, so that you may prosper.” (Sūrah al-Mā’idah, 5:100).

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The Complexity in Quitting Masturbation and Pornography

One bitter truth we must admit to or be honest about is that someone can hardly become addicted to masturbation until he’s somehow addicted to watching pornography. The fact that human nature decrees that he needs sexual satisfaction as much as he needs food and water, once he becomes used to attaining sexual satisfaction through masturbation, then he can’t pass a day without practising it. This is not referring to one releasing semen as a result of “wet dream” or passing hard motion or carrying having things.

Another important fact is that every human has his set of weaknesses and strengths. Therefore, falling for your weakness is not a problem; but failing to pick yourself up and get out of your weakness is a big problem. You are the only one who can help yourself to fix it. If you don’t, no one else will.

When it comes to watching pornography, and engaging in its related activities, one really needs to exercise some resilience and endure the pains of depriving his heart the desire for the temporal pleasure of watching pornography and engaging in masturbation. It’s only after one endures that pain that he shall taste the sweetness (the sweetness of īmān) which, among others, comes from giving up watching pornography for the sake of Allah.

In other words, you may read an article which advices (from A to Z) on how to quit masturbation and pornography, but you still remain unable to quit them.

If this is the case, then you should imagine when you are hungry, and you are presented with food, do you feel full by just looking at the food, without eating? The answer is obviously no. You have to lift your hand and take some bites to your mouth before you’ll be eating, and before you can be satisfied.

The same thing applies to anyone interested in quitting masturbation and pornography. Intending to quit is one thing. And putting in the necessary effort, depriving yourself of ‘enjoying it’ is another thing. Unless, you are forced against your will to not, no one other than you yourself, can take the action of not doing or practicing masturbation and pornography.

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The 10 Tips to Overcome the Complexity of Quitting Masturbation and Pornography

“A journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step.”

You can’t make success by merely imagining success. And you can’t achieve your dreams by just dreaming. You can only make success or achieve your dreams by acting upon what it takes to achieve them.

This means, there are a few bold steps you must take, to overcome the complexity that is involved in quitting masturbation and pornography. The following are 10 suggestions that can help you to overcome the struggle you might be encountering while trying to quit masturbation and pornography.

#1: Intend to Quit…

I know you; you already have the strong intention to quit, and you are absolutely sincere about it. However, for the purpose of this article, I find it necessary to emphasize this point here.

When one makes his intention to quit masturbation and pornography, that will be the first step. And remember, the fact that you feel guilty, anytime you find yourself in the habit, is an indication that you are willing to quit. This is exactly when you have to develop a strong intention to quit.

#2: Let Yesterday Be the Last Time You Visited Porn Sites

If one is addicted to watching pornography, the probability of him having a list of porn sites which he regularly visits is high. However you might have saved them, i.e. in your human memory or computer memory, you must find a way to forget them.

Is that possible? Yes. Is it easy to forget them? No. It’s difficult to forget, but it’s possible. That’s why we are talking about tackling the complexity involved.

One of the effective ways to forget about them is to stop visiting porn websites. The longer it takes for you to visit these sites, the faster they fade in your memory, inshā Allah. You may not forget, but you are also not visiting them.

Plus, because you are honest in wanting to quit, if you stop visiting the sites, and stop discussing them with friends (who might also be into such stuff), Allah will erase them from your memory, inshā Allah.

#3: Unsubscribe from Updates from Porn Sites

You might have signed up for free newsletters from porn sites. It’s that which will keep reminding you of your “good old days” in fact the bad old days.

Also, being human beings, whose existence on this earth is primarily to be tested, it’s easy to get excited and be swayed by anything that interests your desires. Many email services have Junk folders. The good news is, emails you receive from porn sites usually go to your Junk folders until you whitelist them.

If you really want to overcome the complexity of quitting masturbation and pornography, you must unsubscribe from any site that updates you with porn materials and porn related materials.

#4: Also, Review the Other Websites You Surf

Your reading this article is an evidence that you are connected to the Internet. Thus, the next step you must take in your pursuit for success in quitting masturbation and pornography is that you take some time out to reflect and review the websites you surf. These are not necessarily porn sites as per se. But they lead you to them. Or they remind you of them. You know better the sites you surf.

At first, you may not initiate the move to searching for porn stuff while surfing the Internet. But, please be informed, that the devil’s evil troops are always in the hunt for people like you. Why? So, to lead them astray from a natural lifestyle.

Again, you know best, the type of websites you constantly, purposely, visit. If they lead you to pornography which has the high tendency of pushing you to masturbation, then it’s high time that you make a firm, honest and genuine ‘goodbye’ to them.

These websites can’t continue to operate without you (readers and viewers). That’s why they are constantly after you. But you can lead a happy life without them. So, don’t allow them to ruin your life.

#5: What about the Magazines You Read

Reading broadens your knowledge and keeps you updated in your field of interest. So please continue reading. But not just anything. Not pornographic contents. Not Playboy and its likes.

It’s worth emphasizing, that the magazines you read, doesn’t have to be explicit ‘Playboy’. But it may lure you to resort to watching pornography. Remember, porn likewise evil troops can’t find happiness without you and me. But our true happiness lies in avoiding them.

They, therefore, do all they can to sneak into wherever they think or know your eyes will reach. So they come from all angles.

These magazines may be printed as well as they may be electronic.

#6: What Channels are You Subscribed to on YouTube?

By now, you’ve come to the agreement with me, that the devil’s troops use all possible means to normalize pornography and every immorality to people. You also know better, that pornography is more impactful when it’s on video, rather than on printed images. If they are to be avoided on printed media, what more on movies and videos.

YouTube presents a significant percentage of your entertainment time. The channels, to which you are subscribed may not be pornographic. But they may link you to pornography sites. They can instigate you to resort to them.

Remember, we have a problem which we must overcome. That is to overcome the complexity of masturbation and pornography. To achieve that, we must win the battle against the big sharks without undermining the small ones. The big sharks are the porn sites you visit regularly. The small sharks include YouTube, and others.

In a nutshell, review the channels you are subscribed to on YouTube. And keep the good ones. The ones that are meaningful and useful; not just entertaining.

#7: What about Twitter?

Similar to YouTube where the evil acts are shown, or linked to from, Twitter is where you follow the porn actors and actresses who you see on YouTube and other platforms. Your choice to follow them was to stay updated with their activities and lifestyles. This keeps them in your mind and motivates you to watch them in the act, from time to time, if not always.

It’s time that you make the right choice. Take that bold step, and unfollow celebrities who encourage you to resort to masturbation and pornography.

#8: Purify Your Computers and Smart Phones

The next important step you must take is to check your activities on your computer as well as on your mobile phones. If you engage in masturbation and pornography, you have to be courageous in taking this bold step.

Do you have any pornographic materials stored on them? If no, then Alḥamdulillāh. If yes, then it’s time to delete them. You must delete and wipe out all porn materials on your devices. They didn’t come on your devices by chance. They came there on purpose. And it was your choice and decision to bring them there.

Now, it’s time to kick them out, forever, on purpose, with your own choice and decision. Please make a permanent delete.

#9: Get Rid of Friends Who Spread Pornographic Materials

In fact, you really need to take another bold step. That is to unfriend or block friends who post materials that lead to porn-like accounts on YouTube, Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. In fact, some articles on your favourite news agency may be promoting porn. You have to be smart in your readings.

On Facebook, don’t ever accept a friend request from a ‘pretty’ girl, with whom you have only one or no mutual friends. In fact, make sure you check your so-called mutual friends before you accept or delete her request. If you are a male user, and your mutual friends with the pending friend requester are all males, and she’s a female, then know that all your mutual friends have fallen into her trap. Delete her request right away, and then block her. If on the other hand, you are a female user, and your mutual friends with the pending friend requester are all females, and he’s a he, you know what to do. Don’t you?

#10: Don’t Ever Underestimate the Power of Du’a

You may be putting in a lot of efforts to quit masturbation and pornography. But you still fall to your weakness, after taking the steps mentioned above. Whether this is the case or not, one really needs to make a lot of du‘ā. One should bitterly cry to Allah, and He shall make your heart to hate watching these stuff, inshā Allah.

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Conclusion

Masturbation and pornography are two different things. However, mostly, each one of them lead to the other. They can be addictive.

As a victim of this addiction, you should identify the factors that prevent you from quitting, despite your strong intention to quit. Then, you must take a bold decision; this includes abandoning those factors that constantly push you to masturbation and pornography. Even if they (the factors) are your good friends. It’s better to lose your “good” friend(s) than lose yourself.

Believe me; if you lose your good self to masturbation and pornography, you can be certain to lose your good friends as well. Truly good friends will not want to join you in masturbation and pornography, if they can’t guide you out of it.

May Allah guide any Muslim who is afflicted with masturbation and pornography. May He open the heart of any Muslim who is struggling to quit these bad habits to the sweetness of quitting masturbation and pornography. Amīn!

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Allah knows best.
Allahu Hafiz 🙂

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