The Fine Line between Arrogance and Self-Confidence

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Outline

Introduction

Alhamdulillah… All praise and thanks are due to the Almighty Allah. May His Peace and Blessings be upon Habibi Muhammad, his household, his companions and all those who follow his guided path.

This is a short reflection, where I’m thinking out loud. What I’m penning down here are my thoughts and perceptions regarding ‘arrogance’ and ‘self-confidence’, supported with Qur’anic verses and Prophetic sayings. If my thoughts and reflections reflect the truth, that comes from Allah alone. And if it happens to reflect the otherwise, that comes from my weakness and ignorance. Either way, I pray to Allah to be entitled for the good rewards and awards, for the good intention and trying.

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Arrogance and Self-Confidence

Arrogance is known to be the cause for Ibliss (Satan) to be kicked out of Heaven, when human being was first created. This is recorded in Surah Al-A’raaf, 7:11, where Allah says:

وَلَقَدْ خَلَقْنَاكُمْ ثُمَّ صَوَّرْنَاكُمْ ثُمَّ قُلْنَا لِلْمَلَائِكَةِ اسْجُدُوا لِآدَمَ فَسَجَدُوا إِلَّا إِبْلِيسَ لَمْ يَكُن مِّنَ السَّاجِدِينَ

It means, “We created you, then We shaped you and then We said to the angels, “Prostrate yourselves before Adam,” and they all prostrated themselves, except Satan. He was not among those who prostrated themselves.”

Humbleness and arrogance come in the form of thoughts and beliefs, It also comes in the form of words and actions. This is understood in the argument Satan presented before Allah, subhanahu wata’aalaa, as the reason why he refused to prostrate for Adam, in the verse that follows the one I quoted above, which is in Surah Al-A’raaf, 7:12:

قَالَ مَا مَنَعَكَ أَلَّا تَسْجُدَ إِذْ أَمَرْتُكَ، قَالَ أَنَا خَيْرٌ مِّنْهُ خَلَقْتَنِي مِن نَّارٍ وَخَلَقْتَهُ مِن طِينٍ

It means, “Allah asked, “What prevented you from prostrating yourself when I commanded you to?” He replied, “I am better than he is; You created me from fire, while You created him from clay.”

Sometimes, many ‘pious’ people are affected with the disease of arrogance without them realizing it. This happens when they think of themselves to be better than the ‘less pious’, as if some angels have descended to them, assuring them of the acceptance of their deeds.

Unknowingly, many ‘polite’ people are also affected with the disease of arrogance. Why? Because, they have been ‘keeping low profile’ while applying the ‘I’m better than you’ mindset towards others.

Many people, with certain race and colour, may have been arrogant, the moment they classified their race and/or colour above that of others.

A person develops arrogance, the moment he starts to perceive himself to be better than another. Thoughts and perceptions generate words, which subsequently leads to actions. It’s even worst when one allows such thoughts and perceptions to lead him to wrongdoings and oppression. This is what Allah confirms about the hypocrites, who refuse advice, in Surah Al-Baqarah, 2:206:

وَإِذَا قِيلَ لَهُ اتَّقِ اللَّـهَ أَخَذَتْهُ الْعِزَّةُ بِالْإِثْمِ، فَحَسْبُهُ جَهَنَّمُ، وَلَبِئْسَ الْمِهَادُ

It means, “When he is told, “Have fear of Allah,” he is seized by pride which drives him to wrongdoing. Hell shall be enough for him. A dreadful resting place.”

The Prophet, salla Allahu ‘alaihi wasallam, said, in a Hadeeth narrated by Sayyidina Abdillah Ibn Mas’oud, and reported by Imam Muslim, that:

لا يَدْخُلِ الجَنَّةَ مَنْ كَانَ فِي قَلْبِهِ مِثْقَالُ ذَرَّةٍ مِنْ كِبْرٍ، قَالَ رَجَلٌ: إِنَّ الرَّجُلَ يُحِبُّ أَنْ يَكُونَ ثَوْبُهُ حَسَناً وَنَعْلُهُ حَسَنَةَ، قَالَ: إِنَّ اللَّهَ جَمِيلٌ يُحِبُّ الجَمَالَ. الكِبْرُ: بَطَرُ الحَقِّ وغَمْطُ النَّاسِ” .

It means, “No one who has an atom’s-weight of arrogance in his heart will enter Paradise.” A man said, “O Messenger of Allah, what if a man likes his clothes and his shoes to look good?” He said, “Allah is Beautiful and loves beauty. Arrogance means rejecting the truth and looking down on people.”

As for the self-confident, he’s supposed to use it (self-confidence) to explore his capabilities and potentials, with which he carries out his possible responsibilities, at the time that others choose to keep away from taking initiatives, perhaps, due to inferiority and low self-esteem.

The Prophet Muhammad, salla Allahu ‘alaihi wasallam, has said in a Hadeeth reported by Sayyidina Abu Hurairah, radhiya allahu ‘anhu, and authenticated by Imam Muslim:

اِحْرِصْ عَلَى مَا يَنْفَعُكَ، وَاسْتَعِنْ بِاللَّهِ وَلاَ تَعْجِز

It means: “Strive for that, which will benefit you, and seek Allah's help, and do not give up!”

 

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The Arrogant and the Self-Confident

Mostly, the arrogant does things to serve his ego, while self-confidence leads its possessor to be a more responsible individual in the society.

The arrogant finds it difficult to humble himself, because humility comes in the contrary of arrogance. The self-confident can humble himself, because self-confidence stands in the opposite of low self-esteem.

The best of self-confidence can be developed with dependence on the Almighty Allah, and seeking His Guidance at all time.

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Call for Action

Do not let your struggle in abstaining from arrogance bar you from developing self-confidence. Learn to identify the fine line, that lies between the two.

Get motivated to exploring your confidence righteously and intentionally, by constantly remembering the verse in Surah Al-An’aam, 6:160:

مَن جَاءَ بِالْحَسَنَةِ فَلَهُ عَشْرُ أَمْثَالِهَا

It means, “Whoever does a good deed will be repaid tenfold.”

Create a benchmark for your self-confidence, using the verse in which Allah says in Surah Al-Ra’d, 11:13:

إِنَّ اللَّـهَ لَا يُغَيِّرُ مَا بِقَوْمٍ حَتَّىٰ يُغَيِّرُوا مَا بِأَنفُسِهِمْ

It means, “Indeed, Allah will not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves.”

That positive change should begin with you.

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But… Be Careful!

Self-confidence is easily perceived as arrogance. Whether or not that is true depends on one’s intentions, thoughts and motivational factors. This is to say, when one does what no one does, without thinking that he is better than others, then he’s on the right track. But when he does what no one is doing, and just because he is the only one doing it, he starts thinking boastfully of himself, that is when he has to start reviewing his heart.

Self-confidence with arrogance is a great test indeed.  So if you believe you have self-confidence, or you are training your kids to develop self-confidence, then it’s important to constantly have self-reflection, for you, or for your kids to remain on the right track, insha Allah.

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Conclusion

The line between self-confidence and arrogance is too fine, that we easily confuse this with that, and that with this.

Many of us possess greater potentials in bringing positive change to our societies. We, however, choose to remain burden to the societies we belong to, due to the lack of self-confidence.

This lack of self-confidence may have resulted from the misconception and confusion between ‘arrogance’ and ‘self-confidence.’

I end my thoughts. I would love to hear from you. I welcome your inputs and comments.

Allah knows best

Allahu Hafiz 🙂

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1 Comment on "The Fine Line between Arrogance and Self-Confidence"

  1. A good reflection.. sometimes we did not even realise that we are being arrogant.. it is too fine of a line. I do relate myself with this line:

    “Unknowingly, many ‘polite’ people are also affected with the disease of arrogance. Why? Because, they have been ‘keeping low profile’ while applying the ‘I’m better than you’ mindset towards others. “

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