The Shining Stars: 19 – Sayyidatunā Asma’ Bint Abi Bakr al-Siddiq

Outline

In the name of Allah, the Merciful, the Beneficent

Introduction

She lived a century of life. She was a daughter to Sayyidunā Abu Bakr raḍiya Allāhu ’anhu, a sister to Sayyidatuā ‘Ā’ishah raḍiya Allāhu ’anhā, a sister-in-law to the Prophet ṣallā Allāhu ’alayhi wa sallam. She was also the mother of ‘Abdullāh ibn al-Zubayr and ‘Urwah ibn al-Zubayr. The former was a companion, and the latter was a Tābi’ī. This Shining Star was among the second 10 to accept Islam, and she was just 14. She was given the honour to secure and supply the Prophet and his hijrah buddy with the food and water they needed for the lifetime journey of the blessed hijrah.

Yes… she was Sayyidatunā Asma’ bint Abi Bakr al-Ṣiddīq raḍiya Allāhu ’anhā. Sayyidatunā Asma’ bint Abi Bakr al-Ṣiddīq raḍiya Allāhu ’anhā is our Shining Star of this episode of The Shining Stars Series, brought to you by GSalam.Net and Al-Bushra by GSalam.

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The Beginning

When The Prophet Muhammad ṣallā Allāhu ’alayhi wa sallam was chosen and sent to mankind as the final Messenger and the Seal of all Prophets, Sayyiduā Abū Bakr al-Ṣiddīq raḍiya Allāhu ’anhu was among the first five to believe, submit and embrace the Message.

Sayyidunā Abū Bakr then succeeded in inviting many notable figures to Islam. These notable figures include Al-Zubayr ibn al-Awwām, ‘Uthmān ibn ‘Affān, Ṭalḥah ibn ‘Ubaydillah, Sa’d ibn Abī Waqqāṣ, ‘Abd al-Raḥmān ibn ‘Awf, and Abū ‘Ubaydah ibn al-Jarrāḥ. Others whom Sayyidunā Abu Bakr also succeeded in inviting to Islam are ‘Uthmān ibn Maẓ’ūn, Abū Salamah, and al-Arqam ibn Abī al-Arqam. Besides all those, he also succeeded in inviting his household… at that time, his wife was Umm Rūman.

What Sayyidunā Abu Bakr raḍiya Allāhu ’anhu couldn’t do right away was to get his daughter from his ex-wife, Asmā’ to accept Islam. Perhaps, that was because Asmā’ needed the time to make an informed and responsible decision. A decision, that is not forced by her father’s influence. The good news is, it didn’t take her long to decide, and when she decided, she chose Allah and His Messenger. She chose Islam. She was 14.

So, who was Sayyidatuā Asmā bint Abī Bakr al-Ṣiddīq?

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Who Was Asma’ bint Abi Bakr

She’s widely known by her given name, Asmā’, or Asma’ bint Abī Bakr. I’m sure you remember that Sayyidunā Abū Bakr’s real name was ‘Abdullāh. With that, Sayyidatunā Asmā’s long name goes as

أَسْمَاء بنتُ عَبْدِ الله بنُ عُثْمَانَ بنُ عَامِرٍ بنُ كَعْب بنُ سَعْد بن تَيْم…

Asmā’ bint ‘Abdullāh ibn ‘Uthmān ibn ‘Āmir ibn ‘Amr ibn Ka’b ibn Sa’d ibn Taym.

Her mother was

قُتَيْلة بنت عبد العزى

Qutaylah bint ‘Abd al-‘Uzzā…

Qutaylah was divorced from Sayyidunā Abū Bakr before Islam.

Sayyidatunā Asma’ bint Abī Bakr al-Ṣiddīq raḍiya Allāhu ’anhā was born 27 years before hijrah. That was 14 years before the arrival of Islam. And therefore, she was 14 years young at the arrival of Islam.

This also means, that Sayyidatunā Asma’ bint Abī Bakr al-Ṣiddīq raḍiya Allāhu ’anhā was…

  • 5 years younger than al-Zubayr (He was 19), who later become her husband.
  • 3 year younger that Sayyidunā Sa’d ibn Abī Waqqāṣ (He was 17)
  • 2 years younger than Al-Arqam ibn Abi Al-Arqam (He was 16)
  • 2 years older than Sa’id ibn Zayd (he was 12).
  • 3 years older than Sayyidatunā Umm Salamah (She was 11).

With that, she became the fifth woman among the first known Muslim women. She comes after:

Please note, that  Fāṭimah bint al-Khaṭṭāb is featured subtly with her husband, Sa’īd, in the episode of Sayyidunā Sa’īd ibn Zayd raḍiya Allāhu ’anhu.

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The Qualities of Sayyidatunā Asma’ Bint Abī Bakr

Sayyidatunā Asma’ bint Abī Bakr raḍiya Allāhu ’anhā was a woman with numerous qualities, that not only women should emulate, but men too.. She was:

  • a knowledgeable woman,
  • a woman with a strong personality and decisive mind.
  • a woman with a great extent of patience
  • a woman with extreme generosity
  • a woman with an exemplary level of modesty.

Learning and narrating ḥadīths from the Prophet ṣallā Allāhu ’alayhi wa sallam supplied her with a fair share of knowledge. Also, Sa’īd ibn al-Musayyid was known to be a reference in the interpretation of dreams, learnt that skills from Sayyidatunā Asma’ bint Abi Bakr raḍiya Allāhu ’anhā.

Sayyidatunā Asma’ bint Abi Bakr raḍiya Allāhu ’anhā used her strong personality to develop a good influence among the women around her. Moreover, if you learn about Abdullāh ibn al-Zubayr, you know that he was raised by a visionary and principled mother. This upbringing taught ‘Abdullāh ibn al-Zubayr to live and die for the good cause he believed in. Provided that Allah is pleased with such a good cause.

Yes, she was also a woman with a great extent of patience. When she married Sayyidunā al-Zubayr, before hijrah, he had nothing but a horse. However, with patience, she learnt to live and grow with him to attain Allah’s pleasure together. It’s very unfortunate, that she was divorced from him, later after hijrah. For the record, although it destined to happen, this divorce was unlikely due to Asmā’ as much as it was due to Sayyidunā al-Zubayr’s handling of marriage… More on that later.

Sayyidatunā Asma’ bint Abī Bakr raḍiya Allāhu ’anhā was a generous woman, such that, she kept nothing in her house for the next day. She would give it in charity. For the sake of Allah.

Also, Sayyidatunā Asmā bint Abī Bakr upheld high level of modesty without a bit of compromise. Such that it’s worthy the emulation of every good Muslim woman who wants to live and showcase modesty. It’s reported, that in her old age, after losing her sight, she was once gifted with a piece of cloth that was meant to make a dress. When she touched and felt it, she rejected it. Guess why? Because it was too soft to be used for an outing dress for the Muslim woman.

Those around her said to her, “but it’s not transparent.” She then responded, “yes… it may not be transparent, but it may showcase the shape and form of the one donning it.

This makes you wonder how Sayyidatunā Asmā’s reaction will be, if she’s to be resurrected today to see what some Muslim women don and yet claim modesty.

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Sayyidatunā Asma’: She of the Two Belts

When Allah permitted for the Prophet ṣallā Allāhu ’alayhi wa sallam to migrate, it so happened when most, if not all the male companions of the Prophet ṣallā Allāhu ’alayhi wa sallam had already migrated to Madinah, ahead of the Prophet ṣallā Allāhu ’alayhi wa sallam. And the few men who were yet to migrate were not in Makkah. This was in addition to the fact that the Prophet’s migration had to be a top-secret movement.

The Prophet and his hijrah buddy, Sayyidunā Abū Bakr first went to a hideout in the mountain of Cave Thawr. Sayyidatunā Asma’ was the one who secured and supplied them with their food and water.

When the time came for the Prophet ṣallā Allāhu ’alayhi wa sallam and his hijrah buddy, Sayyidunā Abū Bakr to move out of the cave and begin the historical journey of the noble hijrah, they needed something to tie and belt their food and water containers. They had nothing they could use for that purpose. Sayyidatunā Asma’ suggested using her rug, with which shed used to tie her waist to prevent her long dress from dragging on the floor.

She tore it into two, used to tie the food container, and the other the water container. Upon seeing that, the Prophet ṣallā Allāhu ’alayhi wa sallam nicknamed her Dhāt al-Niṭāqayn, which means, the “she of the two belts.”

You may be surprised to know, that when Sayyidatunā Asma’ climbed the mountain to supply the Prophet and his hijrah buddy with their food and water, she was pregnant in the late stage of her pregnancy.

Moreover, she migrated to Madinah in that stage of pregancy. To honour her and her baby, Allah made her become the first among the Muhājirīn to have a baby in Madinah.

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Sayyidatunā Asmā: The First among Muhājirīn to Have a Baby in Madinah

Sayyidatunā Asma’ bint Abi Bakr migrated to Madinah with al-Zubayr ibn al-Awwān, her then-husband. Actually she married al-Zubayr ibn al-Awwam, in Islam, shortly before the hijrah. It so happened, that when the time came for their hijrah, she was pregnant and was in the later stage of her pregnancy.

With that, Sayyidatunā Asma’ was honoured to be the first woman from among the Muhājirīn to give birth in Madīnah. This child was Sayyidunā ‘Abdullah ibn al-Zubayr. And with that Sayyidunā ‘Abdullah ibn al-Zubayr was the first to be celebrated by the Prophet and the Muslims after hijrah.

After she delivered, Sayyidatunā Asma’ carried her baby to the Prophet ṣallā Allāhu ’alayhi wa sallam. The Prophet ṣallā Allāhu ’alayhi wa sallam chewed some dates and mixed it with his noble saliva and used it to rub the gums of Baby ‘Abdullah ibn al-Zubayr. With that, the first thing that entered the belly of Baby ‘Abdullāh ibn al-Zubayr was the saliva of the Prophet ṣallā Allāhu ’alayhi wa sallam flavoured with dates.

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Qutaylah, Asma’s Mother Visits Her Muslim Children in Madinah

In the episode of Sayyidunā Abu Bakr raḍiya Allāhu ’anhu, we learnt that he married four wives at different times in his life. His first marriage involved Qutaylah bint ‘Abd al-‘Uzzā, with whom he had two children. These two children were ‘Abdullāh and Asmā’. However, Sayyidunā Abū Bakr and Qutaylah divorced before Islam.

So, when the Prophet was sent, and before he and the Muslims migrated to Madinah, Asmā’ accepted Islam, but her mother didn’t.

After they settled in Madīnah, Qutaylah came to Madinah to visit her Muslim children, Asma’ and ‘Abdullāh, and to also present them with gifts she brought along for them, from Makkah.

No doubt, Sayyidatunā Asma’ loved her mother, dearly (who wouldn’t? Right?). But she wasn’t sure if, as Muslim, she was allowed to receive her non-Muslim mother. So, she tasked her sister Sayyidah ‘Ā’ishah to ask the Prophet for the ruling pertaining to that. Then, Allah sent down the following verses in her rescue.

لَا يَنْهَىٰكُمُ ٱللَّـهُ عَنِ ٱلَّذِينَ لَمْ يُقَـٰتِلُوكُمْ فِى ٱلدِّينِ وَلَمْ يُخْرِجُوكُم مِّن دِيَـٰرِكُمْ أَن تَبَرُّوهُمْ وَتُقْسِطُوٓا۟ إِلَيْهِمْ ۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّـهَ يُحِبُّ ٱلْمُقْسِطِينَ ﴿٨﴾ إِنَّمَا يَنْهَىٰكُمُ ٱللَّـهُ عَنِ ٱلَّذِينَ قَـٰتَلُوكُمْ فِى ٱلدِّينِ وَأَخْرَجُوكُم مِّن دِيَـٰرِكُمْ وَظَـٰهَرُوا۟ عَلَىٰٓ إِخْرَاجِكُمْ أَن تَوَلَّوْهُمْ ۚ وَمَن يَتَوَلَّهُمْ فَأُو۟لَـٰٓئِكَ هُمُ ٱلظَّـٰلِمُونَ ﴿٩﴾ـ

“Allah does not forbid you to deal kindly and justly with anyone who has not fought you on account of your faith or driven you out of your homes: Allah loves the just. Rather, Allah only forbids you to make friends with those who have fought against you on account of your faith and driven you out of your homes or helped others to do so. Any of you who turn towards them in friendship will truly be transgressors.” (Al-Mumtaḥanah, 60:8-9).

Sayyidatunā Asmā then received her mum and accepted her gifts. While that is what happened, nothing indicates or serves as proof that Qutaylah embraced Islam. Either way, Allah knows best about her.

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Sayyidatunā Asma’s Relationship with Al-Zubayr ibn al-‘Awwām

In the episode of Sayyidunā al-Zubayr ibn al-‘Awwām, we learnt that he lost his father in his childhood. And that he was brought up by his mother. However, his mother had high hopes and ambitions in her son. Therefore she applied a firm and strict parenting style in bringing him up. Although that parenting style made him a courageous and fierce warrior he developed aggressiveness, which reflected in his marital life later on.

Despite being the righteous companion we know, and despite being one of the 10 companions given glad tiding of paradise, Sayydinā al-Zubayr ibn al-‘Awwām was not a role model when it came to family relationship. It’s reported that his wives complained his physical abuse to the Prophet ṣallā Allāhu ’alayhi wa sallam. And some of them asked for divorce. Unfortunately, his marriage with Sayyidatunā Asma’ is one of his marriages that did not survive. They went into divorce after the battle of Yarmūk, that took place between hijran and 15 hijrah during the Caliphate of Sayyidunā ‘Umar ibn al-Khaṭṭāb raḍiya Allāhu ’anhu.

She was 42 at the point of her divorce. And lived the rest of her life (58 years) without remarrying.

The mentions of Sayyidunā al-Zubayr here is necessary for two reasons:

First, because we’re featuring one of his ex-wives.

Second, for us to remember that although he’s a Shining Star, a Shining Star whose life is worthy of our emulation. But he was not an all-round perfect. He was not a Prophet. It’s only the Prophet who was an all-round example and role model for us.

Three, he’s given the glad tiding of Paradise. Despite his weakness, he still made it attain glad tiding of Paradise. An indication, that despite our weaknesses and shortcomings, Allah is All-Forgiving, All-Merciful.

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Sayyidatunā Asma’s Children

Sayyidatunā Asmā’ bint Abi Bakr was the first wife in the life of Sayyidunā al-Zubayr ibn al-‘Awwām. With him, she had eight children. They were 5 boys and 3 girls. They are:

  • ‘Abdullah ibn Al-Zubayr
  • ‘Urwah ibn Al-Zubayr
  • Al-Mundhir ibn Al-Zubayr
  • ‘Āṣim ibn Al-Zubayr
  • Al-Muhājir ibn Al-Zubayr
  • Khadījah al-Kubra bint Al-Zubayr
  • Umm al-Ḥasan bint Al-Zubayr, and
  • ‘Āishah bint Al-Zubayr

While ‘Abdullāh ibn al-Zubayr was a companion, as he lived and saw the Prophet ṣallā Allāhu ’alayhi wa sallam, Al’-Mundhir and Urwah born during the Caliphate of ‘Umar. I was not able to verify the birth years of the other children of Sayyidatunā Asmā’ as the point of publishing this article.

But we know that, some of her children, at least one was a companion, and some others were Tābi’īn.

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Sayyidatunā Asma’s Narration of Ḥadīth

Sayyidatunā Asma’ bint Abi Bakr has narrated 58 ḥadīth from the Prophet ṣallā Allāhu ’alayhi wa sallam. Imām al-Bukhārī and Muslim agree upon 13 of them, al-Bukhārī solely reports five and Muslim reports 4.

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Sayyidatunā Asma’s Passing

Sayyidatunā Asma’ bint Abi Bakr lived a century. Yes, she lived100 years. She lost her sight. But Allah preserved for her her teeth and good memory. She died 73 years after hijrah, in Makkah. She was last among the female Muhājirīn to pass on. Raḍiya Allāhu ’anhā.

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11 Things About Sayyidatuā Asma’ bint Abī Bakr al-Ṣiddīq

Here are 11 things you may want to remember about Sayyidunā Asma’ raḍiya Allāhu ’anhā.

  • Sayyidunā Asma’ bint Abī Bakr was among the second 10 to embrace Islam.
  • She was14 years old when she accepted Islam.
  • She was an elder sister to Sayyidah ‘A’ishah.
  • She was a Daughter to Abi Bakr.
  • She a sister in-law to the Prophet Muhammad ṣallā Allāhu ’alayhi wa sallam.
  • She was the one who supplied food and water for the Prophet and his hijrah buddy, Sayyidunā Abū Bakr al-Ṣiddīq raḍiya Allāhu ’anhu.
  • The Prophet ṣallā Allāhu ’alayhi wa sallam nicknamed her “Dhāt al-Niṭāqayn”, which means, “she of the two belts.”
  • She was the first among the Muhājirīn to give birth in Madinah.
  • Some of her children were companions, and some others were Tābi’īn.
  • She died in the 73rd year after the hijrah of the Prophet, ṣallā Allāhu ’alayhi wa sallam.
  • She lived a century long of life.

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The Takeaway…

Sayyidatunā Asmā resembles the Muslim woman with resilience, who, by the will of Allah survives the challenges of life. Her parents divorced before she reached 14, and she survived. And at 42 with 8 children, she herself had to experience a divorce. Yet, she survived.

Perhaps, she understood, that her life was for Allah, not for her husband. Thus, divorce didn’t affect her relationship with Allah, not tear her apart.

Also, despite her strong personality, she was always submissive to the boundaries of Allah.

Her son, ‘Abdullāh ibn al-Zubayr was killed by al-Ḥajjāj a few days before her passing. She knew she was going to lose her son. Yet, she wisely advised him to face it, as long as he knew he was right and was pleasing Allah in that plight.

This level of faith is achieved when one makes Allah his priority. When you make Allah your priority, it doesn’t take long to recover from the pains of circumstances, if there happen to be any at all. Even if it that happens to be a loss of a child, a husband, or a dear one.

That was Sayyidatunā Asma’ bint Abī Bakr al-Ṣiddīq raḍiya Allāhu ’anhā, she of the two belts, the lady who climbed the mountain to supply the Prophet and his hijrah buddy with their food and water, when she herself was heavily pregnant. The woman who upheld the highest level of modesty even when she could be excused… Sayyidatunā Asma’ bint Abī Bakr al-Ṣiddīq was our Shining Star of this episode of the Shining Stars Series, brought to you by GSalam.Net and Al-Bushra by GSalam..

Until we meet again in our next episode to look up to another Shing Star, for inspirations, I leave you in Allah’s protection.

Wassalamu alaykum warahmatullah…

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